Have you ever wondered whether men really like the pixie cut, bright red lips, or dramatic eyelashes? One male Glo writer took a long look at a few current beauty trends and shared his no nonsense opinion on what he loves, hates and just can’t decipher.

Trend: Cat EyelinerHis take: This is one of those looks that can really take advantage of what I’d call male cluelessness. If it’s done subtly, it doesn’t even register—I just think, “What great eyes! They curve in such an alluring way, they almost mirror her smile!” But as soon as I notice cat eyeliner, that’s all I notice. I think it’s because I don’t really understand how makeup “works,” so when it’s too prominent, it becomes the focal point, instead of what you’re trying to accentuate.

Trend: Pixie CutHis take: Seeing a girl with a pixie cut makes me want to smile… and skip up to her and grab her hand and take off running through a grassy meadow. (Cue cheesy montage.) Hair like this makes even the most stunning girl seem approachable. A girl with a pixie cut might move away or grow up, but she’d never break your heart.

Trend: Dramatic LashesHis take: I find this look very disconcerting. It’s hard not to see it as an attempt to turn women into dolls, and I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to be beyond that. I’m all for accentuating the eyes—a little mascara can be stunning. But eyes are about a person’s humanity; these lashes are, in my mind, pointedly, purposefully dehumanizing.

Trend: Bleach Blonde HairHis take: I’m torn. On the one hand, sure, I like blondes as much as the next guy who’s been force-fed a standard image of American female beauty. But on the other hand, I like to pretend a woman’s looks are completely natural. When I see a woman who isn’t from Scandinavia with platinum hair, my first thought isn’t “that’s stunning.” It’s just “that’s fake.”

Trend: Flat Ironed HairHis take: I’ve seen these irons in girlfriends’ bathrooms, and I don’t really know what they do or how they work. But I gather that they’re very hot. And that using them takes a very long time. And that I should just try not to think about how scary it is that women do the same thing to their hair that I do to my wool pants.

Obviously all men have different opinions of what they like and don’t like, but the point of this is to show that you don’t have to always follow the latest trends to look good. You know what they say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder!